CHICAGO—Patent attorney Margaret Chen discovered Monday that her new client, door manufacturer Robert Henderson, holds 847 active patents for various methods of opening doors, a collection she described as "completely reasonable" and "exactly what I'd expect from a successful businessperson."
"Mr. Henderson has been very thorough in protecting his intellectual property," Chen told reporters while reviewing patent number 312, which covers "a system and method for opening a door using a doorknob, specifically when the doorknob is turned in a clockwise direction." "I see nothing unusual here. This is just good business practice."
Henderson's patent portfolio includes such innovations as:
- Patent #47: "A method for opening a door by pushing it"
- Patent #128: "A method for opening a door by pulling it"
- Patent #203: "A system for opening a door using a key, wherein the key is inserted into a lock"
- Patent #456: "A method for opening a door by saying 'open sesame' (pending approval)"
- Patent #789: "A method for opening a door using telekinesis (theoretical, but we're working on it)"
"Each of these represents a unique technical solution to the problem of door opening," Henderson explained during a tour of his "Patent Museum," a 40,000-square-foot warehouse filled with filing cabinets containing his patent applications. "You can't just open a door any way you want. That's intellectual property theft. That's a crime."
According to financial records, Henderson spends approximately $2.3 million annually on patent maintenance fees, a figure he describes as "a small price to pay for comprehensive door-opening protection."
"I've thought of everything," Henderson said, gesturing to a wall covered in framed patent certificates. "I've patented opening doors with your left hand. I've patented opening doors with your right hand. I've patented opening doors with both hands simultaneously. I've even patented the concept of doors themselves. No one can open a door without violating at least one of my patents."
Legal experts, however, remain skeptical.
"This is... a lot," said patent law professor Dr. James Mitchell, who reviewed Henderson's portfolio "out of morbid curiosity." "Most companies have maybe 10 to 50 patents. This guy has 847 patents, and they're all about doors. This is either the work of a genius or someone who really, really likes doors. I'm leaning toward the latter."
Henderson's patent strategy has not been without controversy. In 2019, he sued a 7-year-old girl for "unauthorized door opening" after she opened her bedroom door without a license. The case was eventually dismissed, but Henderson maintains he was "in the right."
"That child violated my intellectual property," Henderson said. "She opened a door. That's my patent. That's my innovation. That's my... wait, where are you going? Come back! I haven't finished explaining my patent for 'walking through doorways'!"
Chen, Henderson's attorney, has been working with him for three years and describes the relationship as "challenging but rewarding."
"Every week, Mr. Henderson comes to me with a new idea for patenting something door-related," Chen explained. "Last week, it was 'a method for thinking about doors.' The week before, it was 'a system for existing in the same room as a door.' I've learned to just... go with it. The maintenance fees alone pay my mortgage."
Henderson's latest patent application, filed last month, seeks to patent "the concept of doorways as a general category of architectural features."
"If this gets approved, I'll own doors," Henderson said, his eyes gleaming. "All of them. Every door in the world. Every doorway. Every doorframe. It's going to be beautiful."
When asked what he plans to do with his door patent empire, Henderson was evasive.
"I have... plans," he said, adjusting his tie, which featured a pattern of tiny door illustrations. "Big plans. Door-related plans. You'll see. Everyone will see. And they'll all have to pay me royalties."
As of press time, Henderson was reportedly working on his next big patent: "A method for closing doors, specifically when you want the door to not be open anymore."
"This one's going to be huge," Henderson said. "It's the natural next step. First, I patented opening doors. Now, I'm patenting closing them. It's a complete door ecosystem. It's innovation. It's... wait, why are you backing away? Come back! I want to show you my patent for 'approaching doors'!"
